Youth=Fun

2010-03-12T08:03:00.000-08:00

hello. i have a new blog. it is called i'm not a nice person. go there to find anything new that i have to say or show.

2010-03-02T11:44:00.000-08:00

hello friends. shaq is in spain. spain is not close to where i normally am, so that's weird. my skateboard is having a great time. and i don't have to leave my comfort zone of starbucks and burger king. hammer pants are big out here. chicks love hammer pants.

i have some photos to show you. i'll show them to you when i'm not in spain. there's photos of spain and america. everything these people hate about america, i also hate about america, so we get along. except big portions and gallon-sized coffees. but this is nice, i can get used to the extragant architechure, and the competition as far as pulling chicks is pretty scarce, seeing as everyone has a mullet and rocks skintight rhinestoned out eurogarb. vale, vos mirais en el otro lado ninjas.

2010-01-15T16:56:00.000-08:00

movie of the year

Good News from Alexander Rialdi on Vimeo.

debarro's killing it

click that to see sweet gear, new shop, and buy the vid.

2010-01-07T15:11:00.000-08:00

"(i am) the noah killer. the expert slayer. the white girl gangbanger. the virgin mary fucker. the jesus hanger."

merry xmas from smoothe tha hustla.

2010-01-06T11:53:00.001-08:00

the jam. and i'd like to apologize for the run-on sentence in my previous post. i'm going to work now, but i've got a lot of good things to share with you kind people in the near future.

2010-01-04T00:05:00.000-08:00

been slackin. i'll be back in boston tomorrow, where i'll be done with my vagabondary and back to the dead end street by the cemetery, where i'll have tons of time to share my life as of late with all 7 of you. you fucks better enjoy this decade, because it's everyone's last:

go on a pre-apocalyptic adventure

2009-12-19T10:19:00.000-08:00

peace

ew

only option

mistletoe

fakin' the funk

stuffwhitepeoplelike

throwback

i've been working on lyrics for the hardcore band that will never exist

2009-12-18T15:39:00.001-08:00

this is all just snippets, phrases here and there, some good, some bad, all weird:

"our bassist just snowballed your acapella group's flautist"

"i poked a hole in it so she wouldn't forget me"

"in the future robots will freebase people"

"your vagina is like a pothole"

"...zeppelin is not hip hop.
steve seagal is not metal.
but danny glover is.
i wrote my dissertation on smoking pot and now i'm smoking pot."

"the deck ate my killer tape.
bloody hip shaped like oregon.
i swear to doc ellis that i was king of ohio once,
and eric's breath smells like catfood."

"if the bag's almost done, throw in more tobacco,
then huff computer duster
til andrew wakes up."

and a real live quote from allan yu:
"i have a 20-minute cumpilation with footage of me cumming on your face."

2009-12-15T16:54:00.000-08:00

(click to download)

daniel johnston - respect (1985)

2009-12-15T14:01:00.001-08:00

Rob Drew "Live" Set One from Joel Messer on Vimeo.

satanincarnateologist

2009-12-14T20:24:00.000-08:00

mixologistkid88 (11:23:39 PM): working on this head wound sculpture

six hundred three score and six

2009-12-10T17:01:00.001-08:00

(click)

liner notes of misfits "walk among us" cassette.

2009-12-09T01:48:00.000-08:00

the gentlemen of CAMDEN have a gig at the middle east upstairs this sunday, the 13th. they'll be playing with a full band this time. i'll be there under the influence of fun and ginger beer.

2009-12-09T00:19:00.001-08:00

dave and i burned and went skating in the rotten apple over thanksgiving time. we brought abada's flipcam and skated kind-of spots until it was time to twomp again.

other media:

happy bday dini

i dunno

iksrfo

set it and fucking forget it

debbie lamps on a lovely afternoon in downtown newark

good looks, stadtlander

nueva inglaterra

foreign kids

bobby steel

tamer dee will never return to jamaica plain

if you miss this, you celebrate kwanzaa

2009-12-04T15:21:00.001-08:00

everyone listed is from new jersey. i repeat: everyone listed is from new jersey. good looks brian correia for the last min flyer. repost repost see you there ninjas.

penicillin

2009-12-04T14:18:00.000-08:00

not kidding.

2009-12-04T09:56:00.000-08:00

youtube channel with 300 HD hip hop vids from 87-93, like this one!

and this one:

and this one:

mad jammiez.

2009-12-03T22:42:00.001-08:00

there's a man on yelp who has had me dying laughing for the past hour. i just read 100 yelp reviews and they're all killer. he reviewed shit that i didn't even care about, like canoe rental places and shit in towns of which i've never even heard. it was this review of video underground in jp that caught me initially:

"Yeah yeah I know, Netflix, but how bad does it suck when Netflix sends you The Shield season 3 disc 4 but they forget to send you season 3 disc 3? Dude, you know how when The Wire ended it made you feel almost as sad as that time in 10th grade when you dated a girl who was hopelessly out of your league so of course you fell madly in love with her and then two weeks later she dumped you because she figured out that she's out of your league and you got so depressed you couldn't even masturbate for a week? Homicide is the homely chick you rebounded on. Fuck Homicide and its pretentious editing. The Shield, man, The Shield will get you over that girl. And Video Underground has The Shield.

Dan P. is a pussy. I checked out their porno section because I am committed to you, my faithful readers. I don't even watch porn because I quit smoking pot, but I can tell you that the selection isn't really that great - they don't have Big Black Ass Next Door Vol. 4, which would be more of a problem if Melissa A. hadn't found it in my neighbor's yard last year during a party - but they do have a few Chicks With Dicks movies, and no one else on Yelp has told you that.

Here's what they do have: a documentary called "Gap-Toothed Women," which is literally a documentary about gap-toothed women. Here's what they don't have: Private Life of Plants, which is a documentary about plants and if you want to watch it you're pretty much gonna have to come over to my house, where I will try to get you to watch Big Black Ass Next Door Vol. 4 instead. That porno's not that great.

(Update: so two weeks later my friend Scott writes me on Facebook all "Dude I rented that documentary about gap-toothed women as a birthday present to myself and it was great! Thanks for the recommendation!")"

read every single word that Alex R. has to say. i really hope he doesn't review me. i'll be so bummed because he'll be right and i won't even have some witty comeback to post on this piece of shit blog.

other news, this
is what my throat looks like right now, but my mouth still looks dashing and ethnic, while the mouth pictured looks like macaulay caulkin in home alone/mj's bedroom. (again with the caulkin jokes?)

fuck strep throat.

2009-12-03T21:12:00.000-08:00

i hate that i have to do this, but this is pretty good, jimmy fallon. shit. i'm not as good at reasonless grudges as i used to be.

2009-12-03T18:02:00.000-08:00

my roommate had a boyfriend once. i mean, she has a boyfriend now. he's a nice guy. but she used to have a different one. he wasn't that sweet. this guy has a mom. i mean, they both have moms. i've met the current boyfriend's mom. she's down to earth. pretty lady. you know. i don't mean it in that way. i mean, you know, she looks nice, she's good looking. she's not bad looking. i say this as a basis for comparison. look at my roommate's old boyfriend's mom:

america

2009-11-26T13:32:00.001-08:00

if i had to guess, i'd say new jersey's the knuckle.

2009-11-22T19:08:00.000-08:00

ignore how ridiculous clarence looks. bruce figured happy out just like bruce figured sad out. and he really figured out the nostalgic "one that got away" genre of pop song. ah. bobby jean.

2009-11-19T17:11:00.000-08:00

Still Waiting - Prince

**i've had this thing for a year and am embarassed to say that this is my first post regarding the seldom-acknowledged true king of pop. prince was dickin down carmen electra while mj was tossing caulkin's salad, real talk. having trouble getting that special someone to bed? problem solved. address any thank you notes to prince rogers nelson, paisley park, mn. dude's been getting me laid since i was 16.

2009-11-17T22:56:00.000-08:00

lilies that fester smell far worse than weeds.

word.

sometimes yelp is like being the star of a comedy central roast

2009-11-16T22:07:00.000-08:00

"Maybe we caught the restaurant on an earth-shatteringly bad day. Big maybe.

Went in on a Thursday night for dinner and was seated right away in the tiniest corner of the restaurant on top of other people -- fine by me, i love cozy.

Was fairly busy, but finally had a waiter come over after about 10 minutes of being seated. Ordered a delightful bottle of wine (they do have a great wine list, from what I saw) and received some bread. Ordered some apps and entrees and then the wait began...

Almost an hour later, we FINALLY received our appetizers after we managed to flag down a backwaiter since our waiter was no where in sight. He forgot to put our order in-- everyone makes mistakes, but an hour later, with no apologies, no acknowledgment, no nothing? He walked past our table about a dozen times in that hour and never stopped to check in or maybe enlighten the tiny light bulb in his brain. That's really bad. I will stop here by saying that this is, hands down, the worst service I have received in Boston to date.

But fine, the boy and I thought, the food may save the place. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, we tried our escargots and lobster bisque. Snails were alright -- not at all what they should be for a place that labels themselves a French bistro. Foie was meh, as well. Definitely had much better before. The bisque was terrible -- waayyyyyyy too much cream, no lobster. It was barely even pink. Awful.

The chicken 'coq au vin' was but one chicken drumstick and the worst noodles I've ever tasted and seen in my life. The broth was super bland -- not at all what is expected. I had one bite and set it aside. It was pretty much my interpretation of a French Chicken Ramen Noodle. Tsk tsk.

I would have alerted the server to my dislike if he had come to check in, but oh, he never came by. So after 30 minutes elapsed and I was sitting with my cold Chicken Ramen, I finally got in touch with a backwaiter to let him know the status of my meal.

Finally, by the grace of God and approximately two hours stuck in that hole, that a MANAGER came by to address our dining experience. Upon which, I kindly unloaded my dislike for the whole evening, including the food and service. It really takes a lot for me to talk to a manager, being a part of the service industry for years and knowing how frustrating it can be, but I couldn't help myself.

The manager did take care of some things, which was kind, but wouldn't be necessary if he had a staff that knew how to remove their heads from their hindquarters.

I will conclude by saying that yes, perhaps, we may have came in on a bad day. But seriously, if you can't even cover the basics of your job (serving, preparing a good quality meal, etc.), you should find another calling."

i wish she left her number. my bulb could have gone for a little enlightening...heh heh heh.
yelp is sick. it's like i get to be at the center of a celebrity scandal once in a while. the headlines read that amy winehouse forgot to tell us the specials du jour. i love yelp. what if there was yelp for everything? wouldn't that be sweet? just people bitching about every single person and thing in a public forum. "the streetlight on south street is too slow and i was forced to wait not 2, but TWO AND A HALF MINUTES for it to change. 1 out of 5." "thomas is not fun to play twister with. 2/5." "lucy's dog has a long tail and i like dogs with short tails, so i give lucy's dog a 3/5." right?

it's fucked up that people lose jobs over this shit. and that someone would actually refer to the waiting of tables as "a calling." it's no calling. know what it is?

it's like getting really stoned right before getting thrown into a room full of 30 bitchy, senile great-aunts, and as soon as you walk in they start pinching your cheeks really hard and making you walk them to the bathroom every 5 minutes and change their cathiters and ask you a lot of questions and don't listen to the answers but it's not that big of a deal because they give you mad cash on every holiday and you get to eat a lot of free bread plus they're going to be dead in like a year anyway so it's totally worth it for a few hours at a time.

but god, i can't wait for those old bitches to die. that diploma's starting to look a little bit cooler.

black elvis: lost in space

2009-11-16T20:05:00.000-08:00

pad drops another disposable camera flickr bomb on the nation, featuring photos of halloween and when he, galen, and jake hanly came to boston to wyle for like 18 hours.

the first time i went to this spot in east orange, a man on the street approached me and told i was going to get robbed if i stuck around much longer. years later, a cocktail of fortune and gentrification allow dan v to whip unscathed into a heavy-pocketed backside tailsqueaker.

it's a great time for skating really well and filming it

2009-11-15T23:40:00.000-08:00

buy the first 2, watch the 3rd and get hyped.

hey!

2009-11-15T22:04:00.000-08:00

I only play the games that I win at

And stay the same with more rhymes than there's ways to skin cats

As a matter of fact, let me rephrase

With more rhymes and more ways to fillet felines these days

Watch the path of the black one

Supervillian he wrecks clubs for dell

In a drunken stupor chillin

Ready and willin to inadvertantly foil that plan of any rhymer, whiner or

spoiled brat

Who got more snottier flows than snotty nose?

And holds mics like he knows karate body blows

Nobody knows the trouble I see

from the MPB fly dirty tailin the eye bubble eye thirty

For the record this is some shit I just thought of y'all

Science fiction that's not admissable in no court of law

I live to rock mics 3-D

The only reason I seek to stop to snuff the TV

I heard beats, they sound like karaoke

With monkey rhymers on a leash like don't have this fairy choke me

Hit 'em with a penny so we can get these peanuts

And I thought we was nuts, I used to get free cuts

They locks Lex Luthor up in green haven

Since when a nigga never really been to clean shaven

Misbehavin rap stars need mistament

Call me Mista Bent

I'm at where your sister went

Intelligent, used to write and be well spoke

Now all a nigga wanna do is fight and sell, tell a joke

This could lead to catastrophe

Bout to stop the violence right after these last three shots from the black

bat got me at headlock

Holdin on to sanity while stranded at dreadlock

She told me get off I said

Bitch, let me set this shit off so I could get rich right quick

Then it hit me like the point of intoxication

Nigga come out and rock this nation like oxifacen

A lot of niggas out is rusty like oxidation

In the world's most strangest most dangerous occupation

But you could do it, you the Super like in your building

Villian like trife kingdom wear and all my children

Plottin and it sure to pay ends

With some more mature womens and more of they friends

And when bad men roll tight, it's actual true

Like a pack of big bamboo with natural glue

Who grip necks of becks next to triple X

He just came before D followed the ripple effects

And it'll lead you right to him

Oh snap, it seems you walked into a trap do wrap

Zoinks, this place is filled with pretender willies

One false move and get broke off like end of phillies

True believers ain't nothin new to a

Crook with special powers like how to tell the future uh uh

Rhyme of the month two page long

Bustin off two gages with my cake gone wrong

Son it's on remind me of a Raekwon tape song

With a fleet of super bad status Rae Dawn Chong

Let me know if y'alls with me y'all

Nasty yo and geographic down to the titty bar

Rap monster outer city y'all

To all my brothers who is doin' unsettling bids

You could have got away with it if it was not for them meddling kids

2009-11-15T20:29:00.000-08:00

i was outside the library smokin a boge toasted illin just now and some kid told me i looked like some dude named kid cudi. i googled image searched him and was bummed to find that he's kind of right:

yet another to add to the look-a-like list, next to obama, pharrell, probably all of the cool kids, and that one flattering myspace message from when i was like 15 saying i looked like denzel washington. i don't believe in the beatles, i only believe in me.

2009-11-12T13:11:00.000-08:00

this is it. yes. i've found it. arguably the most important website on the information superhighway. what is it? oh, just an archive of burrito spots across the nation with reviews, ratings, and updates. the updates are the most important feature because burrito spots have the tendency to flip it on you: change owners, ingredients, menus, quality, prices. so, without further ado, the burrito blog:

2009-11-11T19:07:00.000-08:00

i told tim penguin that someone pivot fakied the hole in this bank in chicago. he responded with this cell phone pic from july 07 of me wearing a pink t-shirt in front of it. it's not what you rock, it's how you rock it. gyuh.

2009-11-11T15:21:00.000-08:00

trife

2009-11-11T10:51:00.000-08:00

rob drew/omega/djnr hooked up this painting of satan for the crib and technology hooked up this smart phone for ya man and it's overwhelming.

2009-11-05T17:07:00.000-08:00

"if oj drove a bus, he wouldn't have been oj, he would have been orenthal the bus driving murderer"

2009-11-05T10:54:00.000-08:00

d.fresh slapped this blog on me: SHiiT ii GO ThReW. dude goes threw some shiit. none of us like to think that we're "the type to catch female emotions liike dis here" but you know, it takes a man to open up. i tip my cap to lucky 09, liife will get eaziier, homey.

kwame's band rules. troublemaker. click for their album. sons of no one. so sick. so pissed.

2009-11-04T15:14:00.000-08:00

antonecchia wallie bonk nj devils L in hand. stee.

and, goodnight.

2009-11-01T23:55:00.000-08:00

(click on it)

2009-11-01T23:26:00.000-08:00

this is the only internet-based reference that i'm going to make to la cosa nostra this year. the specifics: when you need to know, and if you need to know, you'll know.

2009-11-01T23:22:00.000-08:00

2009-10-29T10:11:00.001-07:00

while you were sleeping...

2009-10-29T00:19:00.000-07:00

i was flipping through secondary texts and polishing off an entire pack of drum in a matter of a night. yeah, this is totally worth 40G a year.

2009-10-28T18:04:00.000-07:00

i rip my prick through ya hooters, i'm sick, you couldn't measure ma dick with six rulaz

2009-10-27T20:39:00.000-07:00

pad's got a flickr with scans of disposable camera flicks. they're all real awesome. above is the ill lifestyle flick.

my friend jason m. basilica beat me on the mixtape thing, and his is much better than mine could even hope to be. but he's not the one sitting on 95+ blank cassettes, so remember that. it's real good. his musical venturings with friend james "the king" bible, under the alias "camden," are also topshelf in all respects. they're dropping a new record sooner than you think.

in other news:
-i got an e-mail:
Shaqary Waker:

Your course instructor has expressed concern about your work in ENGL3310 : SEC 02 : Advanced Writing in Literature : CRN 10809 : TERM Fall 2009 . Please see your instructor to discuss your current situation. Your advisor, Kathleen Cameron, has also received a copy of this notification.

Your instructor submitted the following information:
Grade to Date:
Concern about Grade?: No
Concern about Failing?: No
Not Prepared for Class?: No
Difficulty with Assignments?: No
Difficulty with Quiz/Exam/Test(s)?: No
Difficulty with Papers/Projects?: No
Issues with Attendance?: Yes
Issues with Tardiness?: No

in other words, my course professor has expressed concern that his class doesn't require my attendance for me to do well in it. i should express concern that he's a bit of a melodramatic whiney little taddle tale bitch. i'm just sayn that if he was a man he would say it to my face and not go snitchin to an automated e-mail service. i'm just sayn.

-i waited on the former mayor of medallin after 2 literally sleepless days a few months back and fucked a lot of things up, including his wife's request for a drier bottle of white wine. didn't keep me from lookin' dapper as shit though.

-you shouldn't buy hash from realtor scumbags for the same reasons that you shouldn't rent apartments from realtor scumbags.

-everyone's got something to learn from big baby jesus's cover of "good morning heartache"

-i wrote a poem about how my wife is going to be disgusting and i won't be able to smoke pot anymore that i might share when i'm feeling a little more ambitious/faggy.

-seriously, drop out of college.

2009-10-24T11:39:00.000-07:00

keep it real on the streets, money, and look out for one another.

flp's new video: extrmely s*rry

2009-10-20T18:22:00.000-07:00

skate videos. yeah. buy them. don't download them. download where the wild things are and "the sopornos" but you should buy skate videos. for the most part. you should buy god save the label and the new tilt mode. but some aren't worth buying. i did the whole asterisks thing with the title of this video because it's not very good and fl*p's got money so i want it to be piratable for as long as possible so no one makes the mistake of buying it. the claymation thing is stupid, and if i die, i'd appreciate that my friends didn't immortalize me with a claymation of me rolling a joint. lance mountain: best part. hands down. just watch lance mountain's part. and that kid luan oliviera. the rest of this video is stupid. oh yeah. and burnquist rules. so watch that too.

2009-10-17T07:26:00.000-07:00

64 oz growlers are the new 40s

i'm going to my friend edmar's now to eat the tail of a cow

WHATSHMUH NAME?? SHUT THE FUCK UP.

2009-10-14T00:54:00.000-07:00

you've seen this before. it's one of my favorites. talking to himself at 1:22 is my favorite trick.

2009-10-08T17:58:00.000-07:00

homey put me onto this. mr. charles live set, paris, 61. 2 thumbs upward.

2009-10-06T22:39:00.000-07:00

fuck parties

get this album

drop out of college

FLESHTEMPLE - NO FVNERAL

2009-09-23T17:59:00.000-07:00

Fleshtemple - No Funeral from Nicholas Laskowski on Vimeo.

i take baths in tiger balm bro!

2009-09-23T01:00:00.000-07:00

Thrasher Skateboard Magazine

paint cans. rain. filmer board. janky halfpipe. that's why he's cardiel and you're just a two-bit scrub. also, if one more person tells me to try out their longboard i'm going to split that floppy piece of shit over their flip-flop bound tribal tatted achille's fucking tendon. it's cold out, toss the cargo shorts and put some fucking socks on. and tell your girlfriend to do the same. now i got myself all riled up. fuck college and fuck vermont or wherever the fuck you street surfed in from. go bomb and hill in construction gloves and get murked by a taxi.

SUMMER CLIP

2009-09-20T22:11:00.000-07:00

2009-09-20T12:13:00.000-07:00

i don't know if i've ever made a plan so far in advance, but i'll be seeing these goons in a year and 2 days.

2009-09-20T09:56:00.000-07:00

photo cred: cohen

2009-09-11T21:30:00.000-07:00

"it's like eatin' grilled cheese"
-rob drew on eating pussy

r.i.p. summer

2009-09-10T09:14:00.000-07:00

and what a blighted summer it was.

suuuuuuuue

2009-09-09T16:15:00.001-07:00

2009-09-09T10:16:00.000-07:00

these guys were okay, but i'll take some white guy with a laptop over the joe cuba sextet any day of the week

2009-08-30T22:55:00.000-07:00

e. reed, on spackle:

"i'll bet that's just how it went. spit was the first tackle."

e. reed, on rolling a cigarette at a rave:

"this is the most exciting cigarette i've ever rolled. it's like rolling a cigarette in a video game."

2009-08-30T09:17:00.000-07:00

"she opened up the door and let me in, never once did she say 'where you been?' she said, 'are you hungry? did you eat yet?'"

SF

2009-08-18T19:28:00.000-07:00

went to ram mancrisco this past week. brian anderson is doing a wallie next to the taqueria we went to everyday (chile relleno burritos aiiight). got a couple tricks, took some pics, they'll be up here soon. i'd write more but i'm too busy watching lennie kirk and busenitz parts.

2009-06-11T22:49:00.000-07:00

apologies for not updating blogs are for fucking nerds. i've been busy killing it. not like these 2. more info soon.

LOOKIT

2009-04-29T15:22:00.000-07:00

other people write on their blogs more than me, so i figured i could at least show you some cool skateboarding-related blogs:

SHREDNJ: contributors include bill marshall, chris rozborski, filmer davy lee, nick immediato, and other pretty much division east/nj skate/boner bolts/bloomfield-related schralpers who actually get enough throwaway footage on a regular basis to post multiple times a day. bunch of sweet photos, clips, a lot of point break bigups, etc. good heads.

BOSTONRIFFRAFF: what seems to be a boston-oriented "homey cam" type of effort. lots of photos with one of those throwback shitty fisheyes (which i love) , vimeo clips, a lot of orchard-related skaters (tons of bro!), and they skate things that i like to skate, and you might too!

the first chapter of something weirddd

2009-04-22T08:12:00.000-07:00

Walking home today my dog fell into a manhole. There wasn’t enough slack on the leash, so I spent the subsequent twelve minutes defending my innocence to a pig-faced girl with blue hair, then the rest of the day mourning and eating tomato bisque. I enjoy most bisques. The soup version of the mosque.

Yesterday was no better. I woke up with a slicing pain in my neck. After some twisting and kinking, I was able to force it away, only to realize the ache in my feet. I sat at the television watching the relief blow the shutout while I pried at ingrowns with wire cutters for about an hour.

Then lunch with a friend. We were conversing over the merits of paper vs. plastic as the waitress inquired as to our preference of water. My request of coconut was declined so I settled on tap with a cocktail onion garnish.

As I brought the glass to my mouth, I realized the pungency of toe cheese on my fingertips, and the blood under my nails. Having been upset by the ill-advised game-losing fielder’s choice single play, I’d forgotten to wash the foot off my hands before lunch. I fled to the lavatory before Larry could catch wind of anything.

While at the urinal I could not help but eavesdrop on the handicapped stall. The voicemail that echoed against the tile told me that the man’s wife had starved herself for the purposes of vanity. When the phone closed, the slow, wet sobs commenced. Tear drops saturated the waistband of his sweatpants. Moist cotton ankle shackles.

I ate my brisket while chatting with Larry about button flys, but couldn’t help but examine the bathroom door’s reflection in his glasses. I waited for the mourning exercist to show a sign of productive life through the swinging of that door, but by the time we had paid, the door remained untouched. I hoped that he at least had the decency to wipe before ending it all in an attempt to reunite with his deceased love, if such was his intention. If this was the case, I do hope he was thoughtful enough to have brought her a sandwich, I’m sure she’s hungry down there.

Yesterday night was the usual, which I suppose might be unusual to some, depending on “some’s” definition of “usual.” For some, usual is kickin’ back with a nice cold one, playin’ Parcheesi with the ol’ wife n’ kids. Some find usuality in asphyxiating themselves while masturbating to late-night infomercials or professional poker. I suppose I fall somewhere in the middle-- in regard to the usual, that is. I, of course, do not mean that I like to asphyxiate myself while masturbating to the wife n’ kids playing late-night poker. I don’t have a wife, or little bastard kids, and if I did, I’m sure they wouldn’t have liked that joke too much.

No, the usual for Mr. Juniper Stopon is less depraved, or more, depending on your definition. It’s all about perspective, that’s something I’ve realized. Dog shit smells pretty bad when it’s on your shoe, but if you’re looking at it from a rooftop, you might mistake it for a penny, or a pretzel, or a profiterole; something along these lines. What I’m getting at, and I’m sure you’ll agree, is that a rooftop smells like a rooftop, even if it’s covered in dog shit.

What did I do last night? Well, you know. The usual.

2009-04-17T11:02:00.001-07:00

not modern life

2009-04-17T11:00:00.000-07:00

in regard to that 538 johnson avenue post...it looks like someone's back from the dead...

2009-04-17T09:51:00.000-07:00

Sweet Street from Jaundice on Vimeo.

friends doing tricks together. highlights include:
full loxton part
debarros back tail windowsill
tim penguin
both leks tricks
the dowds
abada and lykins killing with the animations and the planks with wheels
me being falsely accused of additional filming

next stop: david spud vid

the light on top of the hancock building indicates:

2009-04-16T00:24:00.001-07:00

Steady blue, clear view.
Flashing blue, clouds due.
Steady red, rain ahead.
Flashing red, snow instead.
(except during baseball season, when it means the Sox game has been called off).

I'LL FUCK YOU TIL YOU LOVE ME, FAGGOT

2009-04-15T17:07:00.000-07:00

i was going to wait to see it in theaters, but fuck it. i'm halfway through right now and it's really no joke, that man did some wild shit. won the championship belt with gonnorhea, arrested for the first time at age 12 with 1500 cash on his person. but aside from that, you actually get the opportunity to listen to him instead of immediately accusing him. don't get me wrong, he's a complete sociopath, but not everything he thinks and says involves comparing his depression to the stomping of another man's child's testicles; he's been through some shit and has a lot of insight at times, which he is able to articulate very well. i might be so bold as to say that maybe we all got a lil' to learn from good ol' kid dynamite. so, without further ado, the tyson documentary.

lemme lend you a hand you fucking idiot

2009-04-15T15:00:00.000-07:00

irony

1. the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend.
2. Literature.
a. a technique of indicating, as through character or plot development, an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated.
b. (esp. in contemporary writing) a manner of organizing a work so as to give full expression to contradictory or complementary impulses, attitudes, etc., esp. as a means of indicating detachment from a subject, theme, or emotion.
3. Socratic irony.
4. dramatic irony.
5. an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected.
6. the incongruity of this.
7. an objectively sardonic style of speech or writing.
8. an objectively or humorously sardonic utterance, disposition, quality, etc.

hopefully you'll remember to think of me before you try and call stephanie and kim wearing the same blouse ironic. slight distinction between "irony" and "isn't that weird????"

2009-04-14T14:24:00.001-07:00

i have no fucking idea what twitter is, but i've fallen for every other shitty internet social networking thing, and mark my words: it ends at twitter.

538 johnson

2009-04-13T22:21:00.000-07:00

modern life is war, david o'brien, and 538 johnson avenue are three things that i hold very near to my heart. this clip contains all elements, it's footage from a show in the spring of 2007 that i still hear dudes talk about. i couldn't be there unfortunately, due to a boston-shaped cock up my ass, but i had the pleasure of catching a fucked up sunday matinee there once and the venue equaled fun. it's a loft apartment in bushwick, with a staircase going up the side of the stage, at the top of which there is a pipe going across the 20 ft high ceiling. you'll see people falling from the sky in the video, so that explains that. this show was deaded early by jacob, who apparently didn't interrupt mid-song and waited politely. 538 johnson deaded shortly after. mliw deaded shortly after. red-headed kid in the white shirt is david o'brien, who isn't wearing his glasses and was still straight edge at this point.

SWEET STREET PREMIERE

2009-04-07T07:55:00.000-07:00

My crew put together a 10-minute, 3-song long boardsport flick, starring the likes of dan debarros, adam abada, david spodofora, gabriel the magnificent, jack lykins! padraic "socialite" dowd, thomas penguin english, phil wong, i have a couple tricks, etc. below is not a trailer, but just a clip that david spud threw together of some recent funguy footage that may or may not be in sweet street:

the flick, entitled "sweet street" is premiering next thursday, the 16th at division east boardsport shop at 7pm, then halligan's party and beer shop again at 9pm. i'm very psyched. going filming is fun, drinking is fun, new jersey is fun...this thursday will undoubtedly be fun.

a tip of the cap to gnarcotics.blogspot

2009-04-06T02:06:00.000-07:00

q: did you just wake up or have you not slept yet?
a: the latter.

q: then what are you doing fucking around with your stupid blog?
a: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=170317960258

q: that's a dead medium. shitty sound quality and short lifespan.
a: shut up.

q: are you going to bed?
a: side A of mixtape is done.

PRISCILLA FUCKING RULES

2009-04-02T22:30:00.001-07:00

P:i jumped this doug funny looking chick in the bathroom at ihop
P:and last night i smacked the back of some girls head when she wasnt looking, she still doesnt know it was me

2009-04-01T10:04:00.000-07:00

i'm the kind of person who likes to go to bad parties just to stand in the corner and talk shit. the eagles have time and time again proven themselves to suck dick in every sense of the phrase, so naturally i was drawn to this 7 minute and 5 second pile of shit of a reunion show. if you can bear to watch the whole thing, i think you'll leave with a better understanding of why 99% of everything isn't cool.

2009-03-31T00:39:00.001-07:00

i'm making mixtapes and you're gonna want one. find a friend with a tape deck soon.

see sweet street soon

2009-03-29T23:11:00.000-07:00

food review!

2009-03-24T15:32:00.000-07:00

today i went to baja betty's because el pelon burned down and, if you've ever tried the savory beef tongue burrito at montecristo on huntington ave, you'll know that the boston burrito game is slackin hardbody. the deal with the 'rritos is that you order it with your choice of one or two fillings, and the list of fillings changes daily. i had the california burrito with the spicy pork and home fries as my two fillings, it also came with guac, lettuce, sour cream, the whole nine. overall pretty good burrito, fresh produce n shit, qdoba-sized without the rectal bleeding, the only downside is that it wasn't spicy enough and they had some shitty tapatio hot sauce that wasn't spicy enough. otherwise, i'd recommend baja betty's as the spot to camp out and eat burritos while you wait for el pelon's second attempt at insurance fraud to blow over and they build their shit back up.

i'm going to listen to the new doom a few more times then review that too.

deb + me

2009-03-21T15:45:00.001-07:00

they keep stomping on the ceiling but i'm not going to turn it down

2009-03-20T00:44:00.000-07:00

i just got this in the mail from my man xtra.things on ebay. legend has it that jackie robinson preferred the 2nd n backwards in order to bewilder 3rd base umpires when batting, giving the dodgers that extra edge that they needed to get to the top.

rock a fly jersey in the summertime god

TOMMY

2009-03-06T11:05:00.000-08:00

lookin for love in all the right places:

2009-03-05T11:42:00.000-08:00

i was lurking around on that thing that replaced myspace a few years ago that isn't cool enough to be shouted out on my thing that replaced livejournal a few years ago and stumbled upon this super-urban pappalardo photo:

(click on it!)
i guess that's the only way to ride a skateboard down 1st ave. without getting swallowed by a meteorite pothole.

(note that i'm exhibiting a familiarity with the lower east side to show off. everyone's real quick to talk about that time their buddies and them hopped in a zipcar and drove down from new hampshire to visit their friend at CUNY Whatever who majors in urban studies and weaving and they went and checked out some cool loft party in brooklyn. i'm not a new yorker, i'm from new jersey, i'm familiar with new york, but i'm not from new york. i can get myself where i gotta go, sometimes i forget what avenues turn into below houston but i know that it's houston not houston; it's a respectable relationship with a city i don't live in. a lot of times people will go out of their way to refer to dead names of random areas in the city like "gramercy" or like say shit like "i'm standing outside of the happy garden convenience store, you know, like, in brooklyn"...like naming a place that i'm certain not to have ever heard of is going to make me somehow respect or admire their grasp of a city that's on a fucking grid. i just wanted to say that i don't think that's very cool.)

ode to not doing shit

2009-03-05T11:22:00.000-08:00

i wrote a sonnet a couple years ago.

Shit, Bate, Shower, Skate

You have to start your Saturdays off right
With the regimen: shit, bate, shower, skate.
When crust fills your eyes, and the sun shines bright,.
A man needs to wash, poop, and masturbate.

Awake at your leisure, then Bonnadeuce.
Next: a good ‘nography-fueled bate sesh.
Gotta rinse away the grime and drug use.
Then go shred, feeling renew’d and refresh‘d.

It’s an all-star satisfaction lineup,
Catering to the needs of body and mind.
Self-therapy, like a penis spine rub,
Numbs the sting of a young man’s daily grind.

The best thing to be when something’s wrong,
Is 13 years old, with your parents gone.

lovely ways of putting things

2009-03-03T10:45:00.001-08:00

ottercocz (1:44:00 PM): i finally got to see the big weird fake boobs though
playcracktheskye (1:44:12 PM): yeah she had em on when i saw her too

blanchard's owner voted president of peta

2009-03-03T09:11:00.000-08:00

i used to stand outside of this liquor store blanchard's in allston waiting for a drunk bu badminton player or something to buy me beer. cheap prices, wide selection, and an owner who stomps his son's dog:

go check them out, they're having a sale on beer balls!

props

2009-03-03T08:04:00.000-08:00

gdp is coming out with a new album called "realistic expectations," he tries to talk like an artist but just sounds like a new brunswick scumfuck on colonapin talking about nothing in this video:

he also has a succumb remix and a new track about leak with emily rugburn, who i'm liking better everyday, on his myspace.

pad thinks he's a big apple socialite now as he poses in this half cab ad with a man named calib from rochester. (taken from the best shop ever's website)

speaking of boardsport shops, orchard is getting their own shop boards made. they'll be doing them for $40+grip in april. check them out on tremont st. on mission hill. for those who didn't know, mission hill used to be called "parker hill," after peter parker, who lived atop the hill with his wife, mary ruggles (of the famed orange line t-stop). he owned an orchard on mission hill and died when a barrel of cider fell on him, hence the name of my street, and the name of the skateshop.

bastardization

2009-02-26T12:27:00.001-08:00

josh tedla/boo radley showed me these. i'm sure that barack blog posts are so in these days, but i'm pretty sure this one is the best. i'm trying to come up with a funny star wars joke. "the war on terror is strong with this one." i don't know. it's funny enough by itself. maybe barack action figures will stimulate the economy.

friday, march 13th is important because

2009-02-26T12:22:00.000-08:00

-FLESHTEMPLENJ is playing 115 franklin street in lower allston
-black moon and smif n wessun will be performing enta da stage and dah shinin' at harper's ferry
-matt miller, shawn madden

fun vs. growup

2009-02-26T12:13:00.000-08:00

it's really tough to stay focused on things like work and the future when songs like this exist.

first blog post

2009-02-24T18:52:00.001-08:00

i guess this was supposed to be my first blog post when i made the thing in may. i found it in the drafts thing. you'll notice that i add to this blog thing in torrents. that probably won't change.

Hi, my name is Zach. I'm 20 going on 21, I like learning, fun friends, skateboards, and Pabst Blue Ribbon. I like music a lot. All sorts. I'm from New Jersey so I like it there a lot. I go to Northeastern University and am captain of the football team. I like to write and I like fun. So this blog will have some things that I write, like my award-winning sonnet "Shit, Bate, Shower, Skate," and links, videos, pictures, and information on the acquisition and documentation of fun-oriented shit. I'll also probably talk a lot of shit on people.

i guess that's still my intention, in so many words.

jojo

2009-02-24T17:13:00.000-08:00

I Want to Write a Love Song

yup

2009-02-24T17:10:00.000-08:00

handed down from my father to you+rob drew

2009-02-24T17:00:00.000-08:00

8oz mac

1/4 c of butter

¼ c of flour

2 c milk

Salt to taste, peppa

2 c shredded cheddar

Cook mac, no salt in water

New saucepan, melt butter over low heat

Add flour, stir til smooth

Cook 1 min, stirry constantly

Gradually add milk

Cook over med heat, stirring til thickens and bubbles

Start stirring in cheese until melts

Stir in mac

Pour into greased baking dish

Bake uncovered at 350 for 25-35 minutes/bubbly

rob drew/dj no requests

2009-02-24T16:44:00.000-08:00

fry my chicken
put bacon in my macaroni and cheese
and dip my chips
in a puree of chips.
chip puree.
that's like people swimming in people puree.
lovely recession we're having!

snowy again

2009-02-18T22:35:00.000-08:00

my friend adam abada and i like to skateboard. adam likes to draw too. he drew that. i think it was thomas paine who once wrote: "i hate myself when i'm not skateboarding." thanks god, i guess it's gonna be another week of me weeping alone in my closet, inhaling febreeze.

welcome

2009-02-18T19:58:00.000-08:00

i'm zach.

i have a roommate named eric and a big big test tomorrow in british literature class. don't call him ernie.

i made a blog, then forgot that i made a blog, then remembered.

my friend molly has a blog.

i lost my train of thought because i was trying to figure out where the thing to make a link to molly's blog was, but i found it.

you'll notice i have a gray tooth if you ever see my face or mouth. it's a phony, i lost the real one playing hide and seek in the dark. i ran into a tree. the fake one wasn't gray until i picked up smoking.

see you out there.

-zach