ode to not doing shit

i wrote a sonnet a couple years ago.


Shit, Bate, Shower, Skate

You have to start your Saturdays off right
With the regimen: shit, bate, shower, skate.
When crust fills your eyes, and the sun shines bright,.
A man needs to wash, poop, and masturbate.

Awake at your leisure, then Bonnadeuce.
Next: a good ‘nography-fueled bate sesh.
Gotta rinse away the grime and drug use.
Then go shred, feeling renew’d and refresh‘d.

It’s an all-star satisfaction lineup,
Catering to the needs of body and mind.
Self-therapy, like a penis spine rub,
Numbs the sting of a young man’s daily grind.

The best thing to be when something’s wrong,
Is 13 years old, with your parents gone.